Boutique Stadium? I nearly choked on my Crunchy Nut Cornflakes. I have no idea what a boutique stadium is but according to some bureau-prat on the morning radio, Melbourne needs one.
In fact, I’m not sure when we began turning ‘boutique’ into an adjective but it’s made things awkward. Institutions that were previously ‘small’ are now ‘boutique’.
‘Hang on,’ I hear the more switched-on readership cry, there’s more to ‘boutique’ than being small, there’s a design criterion — it’s small and designed.
Right. Maybe once upon a time that was true, but now with the advent of the Boutique Stadium I can’t see much hope for ‘boutique’ as a descriptor — it’s officially been hijacked by the mealy-mouthed spin doctors. Fun-sized Mars Bars will soon be Boutique Mars. Fine print on that contract you’re about to sign will soon be the Boutique Print. Mark my words.
But, for the moment at least, ‘boutique’ still hangs onto the vestiges, the merest thread, of some actual meaning… and it can be defined as thus:
Boutique /bu:’ti:k a. Of or pertaining to a venue containing a decorative item or furniture designed by Philippe Starck.
That’s right, so long as you’ve got some Starck you can wave the Boutique Flag — regardless of how small or un-designed you are.
Let’s looks at the proof — and see if you can spot the careful and sympathetic addition of a Philippe Starck design classic (a pop quiz for the stylistas, I know, but give it a go).
Boutique Restaurant — Enjoy the unique alfresco atmosphere of this downtown Boutique Restaurant. Finger food a speciality.
Sick of the crowds, the noise, the excitement, the big payouts, the great food and the all-round comfort of the world’s enormo-casinos? Well, our croupier is standing by to deal you into an intimate hand of baccarat, Texas Hold’em or Old Maid at Bazza’s Boutique Casino. Arab high-rollers and Packers welcome. BYO Bundy and Cheezels.
Boutique Beer Garden
Alfresco quaffing has hit a new high with this family-friendly Boutique Beer Garden. There’s fresh air for days and plenty for the kiddies to get up to — the adorable little whippersnappers that they are. Bring a carton of Holiday 50s, pick something from our bain-marie and make a day of it.
Punt Road Boutique Stadium
Why build a Boutique Stadium from scratch when you can turn Tigerland into one? Here’s an artist’s rendering of the extensive works the Punt Road oval will undergo to bring it in line with world’s best Boutique practice.