The Pussycat Dolls (featuring Snoop Dogg) – Buttons

If you’re an all-girl group and you’ve got Snoop Dogg sniffing around, it can mean only one thing: trouble. I hate to pigeonhole the Dogg, but if his press is to be believed, he’s not one to buzz you to commend you on your middle-8, he’s only after one thing… or in the case of The Pussycat Dolls, six things.

The Pussycat Dolls deserve better. In a world of cynical music biz ploys and manufactured pop The Pussycat Dolls stand out like a forty-foot scratching post.

I know for a fact that they’re all highly talented muso’s and childhood friends who spent countless hours jamming and playing the guitar ’til their fingers bled. Then like any bunch of knockabout supermodel mates — while all (coincidentally) working at the same burlesque bar — they alighted on the idea of taking to the world stage. Again, following the career trajectory of any other garage band, things weren’t served up to The Pussycats on a saucer. But after five years of playing weddings, parties and bar mitzvahs, the Pussycat Dolls really honed their chops. For example, it took Melodie three years to learn that pouting and raising one eyebrow wasn’t doing it for crowds, while the correct speed with which one feels ones boobs can only be learnt after countless nights playing pub crowds. I respect that. The Pussycat Dolls have paid their dues.

And then along comes Snoop. He’s the king of the single entendre. He’s as subtle as a wet t-shirt competition. In fact, I’m sure it’s his tawdry lack of respect for the fairer sex that has pushed this clip into what it is — some pseudo middle-eastern, dance of the seven croptops.

Anyway, it’s probably a little unfair of me to be kicking the Dogg from the safety of this cosy little column, so I thought I’d try my hand at some freestyle rhyming — go mano é mano, as it were. So, kick it DJ Spinmaster J…

Turn the page on another sad chapter
On the life of one of rap’s great raptors
Pass me the pooper scoop
We’ve all been duped by Snoop
And his own brand of doggy sleaze

I’m not some bow-wow wowser
Wanting to cut the Snoop Dogg bowser
It’s just that the man’s jowls are
mouthing rhymes that are lousier ‘n’ lousier

Take a break Snoop
Take time to regroup
Playing a cameo
In a Pussycat video
Is no way to go
So lay low…

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